Look Out for those Sociopaths

Moving a little away from the travel theme of this blog, here's another Byway Contemplation and Byway Memories post inspired by something I saw on Facebook today. Today on Facebook someone I know posted something on their wall with this link.

Oh, do I know this link. What's in the link? Just a summary profile of the characteristics of the common sociopath. And I will never forget the day I read it.

It was some years ago. I was at work, sitting in my office, freaking out about my personal life. It was dawning on me that I was dating a sociopath.

I had been in the relationship for awhile and crazy things had been happening and I was a mess. But that was the day that it hit me like a ton of bricks and I suddenly realized exactly what I was dealing with. I don't know why I hadn't honed in on it sooner - I suppose because we sometimes live in denial about our relationships. That day I had an epiphany that saved my life.

I frantically searched the term "sociopath" on the internet and read in detail, and with dread, what I was already living. It was the wake up call, the slap in the face, the reality check that I needed to help me end that relationship.

I never considered myself in physical danger. The person I dated wasn't violent. I know he loved and adored me. He was just a pathological liar of unbelievable extremes. Oh these weren't your garden variety white lies people tell each other all the time. These were whoppers. The kind that remind you of the characters from bad 20/20 exposes where they report on some guy who had his spouse, family, friends fooled and lied all the way to jail or being murdered. His whole life was a lie. He spun a web of deceit. Everything he told me was a lie. He was delusional. He lied to impress me, about things I didn't care about and never gave any indication that I cared about. When he got caught he spun more and more lies. The lengths he went to in order to maintain the illusion were mind boggling. He lied to make himself seem better than he really was, and that made it really very sad. After some distance and dealing with the anger I held over the betrayals, I could allow myself to feel sad for him. Because he was a sad, sad little man.

That experience hurt. It gave me some serious trust issues that I've learned to manage over the years. So many years have passed that I can think back on that period and laugh about it. Some of my experiences are actually quite entertaining, publishable even. I've toyed around with writing about it, going so far as starting to write up one particularly hilarious story. Some of my friends know about it. It really is one of the funniest things that has happened to me - where I caught him red-handed in a series of ridiculous lies.

Sometimes I can't believe what happened to me. That is the thing about sociopaths. They are very smart and very devious. The person I knew was highly intelligent, professional, attractive. You would not know he was a sociopath until you became involved with him and got entangled in his lies. If you are just an acquaintance, then the lies don't mean anything and don't hurt you. But if you become involved with a person like that, then those lies will hurt you.

So I share the link and the list below because I am reminded to do so today. I don't want the opportunity to pass to give a shout out on this matter. I think its good to understand the nature of a sociopath and then be on the look out for them and steer clear. Trust a woman who knows.

The link: http://www.mcafee.cc/Bin/sb.html

The Profile:

• Glibness and Superficial Charm
  
• Manipulative and Conning
  They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
  
• Grandiose Sense of Self
  Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
  
• Pathological Lying
  Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
  
• Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
  A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
  
• Shallow Emotions
  When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
  
• Incapacity for Love
  
• Need for Stimulation
  Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
  
• Callousness/Lack of Empathy
  Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
  
• Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
  Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
  
• Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
  Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
  
• Irresponsibility/Unreliability
  Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
  
• Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
  Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
  
• Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
  Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
  
• Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
  Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

---

Other Related Qualities:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
3. Authoritarian
4. Secretive
5. Paranoid
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance
8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

(The above traits are based on the psychopathy checklists of H. Cleckley and R. Hare.) 

the Rosewood Thieves

I don't write much about music here. This is not a music blog. But this blog is about travel, and what is travel without a soundtrack? Music is a part of the byway - always. Every adventure, every road trip needs a soundtrack. So, occasionally I do write about some music stuff.

This morning I just bought tickets to see Dr. Dog all the way out in October (!). I wouldn't normally buy tickets for a show so far in advance because I typically have no idea what I am going to be doing 3 months from now. I travel a lot for work and things come up. But the band is playing at Pappy & Harriet's in Pioneertown (my backyard in less than one week!) so how can I miss that? I like small shows - that is about all I can handle at this point in my life. I want an intimate music experience, not to be a speck in a giant crowded stadium where I have to see the band with binoculars. P&H is a fabulous venue and I can't believe a band like Dr. Dog is playing such a small venue. Absolutely I am going.

However this blog entry is not about Dr. Dog. It is about the Rosewood Thieves. Listening to Dr. Dog reminded me of them.

I stumbled upon this band in 2008 at a small bar on H Street, in Washington, DC. I think it was at the Red and the Black. I can't remember. But we were there to see a friend who was in a local band. The friend's band were ok, really just goofing around. Unbelievably the band that opened for them was The Rosewood Thieves. I say unbelievably because unlike this friend's band, this was a serious for real touring band.

Standing around waiting for our friends to perform, I watched the Rosewood Thieves show and was blown away. This was a tiny room. There weren't even 50 or 100 people in the room. I was right there feet from the band. It was one of those rare magical music moments in life - when you just stumble upon a band and see this intimate performance and it sticks with you forever. Its a great music on the Byway memorable moment.

I loved them. They were selling their CDs and I bought all three of them. To this day they are some of my favorite CDs (and I have 34 days worth of music on my computer music library). I love every single song they've done - all 22 songs.

This New York based folk rock band was formed in 2004 and was fairly active until 2009. Lead singer and guitarist Erick Jordan started the band. You may have heard them and not known it as a few of their songs appeared on tv shows. Their song Los Angeles was on Entourage and Grey's Anatomy. 

I've checked periodically to see if they had any new releases. No. Tours? No. This morning I decided to do a little research and I couldn't find anything about them! Then sadly, I found this article. http://www.7dvt.com/2011breakdown. Well now I know. The band broke down and broke up.

The lead singer seems to be getting his career together again, with a new group of musicians forming the Rosewood Thieves. That is good. I like his voice (a bit of Bob Dylan in there?) and I hope the new band can carry on the beauty that was started under the original band. But its all made me a little sad because damn I love this band. Yes, there is a new band, but will it be the same? I sure hope so.

Here's some Rosewood Thieves music for you...do yourself a favor and give all the songs here a listen - they are all different and quite good. Good road trip music for your Scenic Byway adventures. xo

Mad Man Blues

Los Angeles

Untitled #1

Not a great quality video, and not a great version (recorded one is fantastic) but probably my favorite song from the band.

Loss of a Friend

It has been a hell of a month and I've been on a blogging hiatus. I was sick for a week, then I had an insanely busy week of work in DC, then hours after arriving home I had to make the terrible, tough decision to euthanize my 17-year old cat. That was a week ago yesterday. I spent the first few days after in a cloud - depressed, crying, unable to do much of anything. Then the work week started and it was again an insanely busy week, forcing me out of my funk, at least to focus on work. That was probably a good thing as it took my mind off of my loss. I lost my motivation for awhile to write or talk about anything personal, only having the energy to work and then crash on the couch to watch mindless television. Apologies to my friends who haven't heard from me. I am slowly crawling out of my shell and am looking forward to reconnecting.




To those of you who have lost pets - I share your pain. I always have, but now I have this first hand experience...and wow. Nothing prepares you. I've watched my parents and friends lose pets and you see how hard it is and you feel it, but nothing prepares you for it finally happening to you. My Mr. Kitty was my first pet as an adult. He wasn't a family pet, he was completely my responsibility. I found him as an adorable fuzzy kitten from a shelter in Ithaca, New York during graduate school and I took care of him until last week - for 17 years. 17 years! That cat was with me through so many moves, jobs, homes, house mates, boyfriends/husbands and life changes and experiences. He helped me survive those life changes, tough times and heartaches including disease, divorce, death and so on. That cat kept me going. He came into my life in my 20s and has left in my 40s. No one has coexisted with me in my day to day life as long as him. 17 years. I have always felt a connection with animals and the pets in my life, but I had a special bond with him. It will never be replaced.

One of the last photos taken of my little friend.

He suffered from diabetes for the past 5+ years. We had several near death experiences, but he survived. Almost a year ago he was on death's doorstep, but he had a miraculous turn around which was amazing. I am so grateful I got that extra year. The problem is you start to forget that it won't last forever. It feels like his decline came so quickly. Just weeks ago things seemed normal. But when I think about it I realize that his decline had been happening for quite some time. We sometimes don't notice the changes because they are subtle and we are surrounded by them every day. He was in decline. He wasn't in pain or suffering, but his organs were shutting down. He was old and he was living with diabetes for many years. I swore that I would never abandon him and I would be with him until the end. Which is why I was there when we took him to the vet, holding him as the doctor put him to sleep. The second after it happened, I was in shock and just about slipping over that dark edge into hysteria, feeling like I might simultaneously pass out and throw up. Not only are you losing your pet - this member of your family- but you are playing God and choosing to end that creature's life. When that shot goes in, they die in seconds. And there you sit holding the lifeless body of this being that you love. The motives are good of course - to keep him from a painful death, but it is still brutal. It was horrible. I don't know that I would advise it for others to be there. But I had to be there with him, holding him and giving him whatever comfort I could through it all. Because I had made that commitment.

I thank the universe for the brave and skilled veterinarians and staff at animal hospitals who take this on. I can't imagine having to regularly do what we went through. We had a fabulous animal hospital (AVC) and a fabulous vet who had been helping us with his health problems and emergencies since we arrived. We had a fabulous vet who performed the euthanasia. I am so grateful to them.

I am so grateful for the 17 years I was given with this creature. It wasn't always easy (chewed computer cords, endless litter box cleaning, ruined furniture and carpets, aggressive behavior towards guests, teary drives to the emergency room, lots of $ for medical care and cat sitting to name a few), but overall he made my life more fun and full of love. I have so many good memories and beautiful photos. I take some comfort in the fact that I can pull up in my memory everything about him - his face, his eyes, his expressions, every inch of that body that I bathed and petted, his purr, his antics, his routines. He was a beautiful, unique creature and he was my baby. He will always be with me. Here are just a few photos and memories...

He loved to roll around outside in the sun.

He loved to hang out on the edge of the bathtub when I would bathe. He loved to drink water from the faucet and hang out in the shower. I bathed him, much to other's amusement. If you start them as a kitten, they get used to it.

He would keep me company in my home office during work days, lounging on my papers and folders, often in his classic belly rubbing pose. 

Later in life he developed an obsession with ice water. Every time we would run the ice machine in the fridge, he would come running and demand that we give him ice water. He wouldn't drink water without it. 

This is how I remember him most from the past years living here in SLC - always sitting in the middle of the kitchen. This memory makes it hard to be in my kitchen now without him there. 

The Barefoot Diva Departs

Still reeling from Christopher Hitchen's passing, I just learned that Cesaria Evora died today! I am so sad. I always loved her and her music. I suppose I should not be surprised as she was 70 and had suffered from heart problems. It has been many years since I saw her perform at Wolf Trap in the DC area and somehow I just assumed I might see her in concert again some day. Sometimes I just forget how time passes. However, I feel so fortunate to have known and loved her music and to see her perform live - twice!

Seeing her in concert was magical, especially outside on a warm summer night like I did. Her music was romantic - making you think of warm tropical nights near the ocean, feeling in love and free, dancing and drinking under the moon and stars.

She was from Cape Verde and much of her music was sung in Portuguese or a local Creole. I didn't understand the lyrics, but it did not matter. Her voice and the sound of the words and the melodies were beautiful. She performed a Cape Verde style of music called Morna. She did perform barefoot - thus the nickname - and occasionally she would sit at a little table and smoke, like she was in a cafe. I love a quote from Le Monde - "She belongs to the aristocracy of bar singers."

Her music was such a big part of me in the 1990s - the memories! I have many of her albums and used to listen to them all the time, but I haven't listened to her music for quite some time. New music comes along and we sometimes forget earlier artists and albums we loved. So in memory of a beautiful artist, tonight I am listening again to that music that I loved.

If you don't know her music, I recommend giving it a try. Cesaria (1995) and Miss Perfumado (1992) are probably still my favorites of all of her albums, probably because those were the first ones I knew. Below is a recording from YouTube of one of my favorite songs - just to give you a taste. I was going to put the original recording from the album, but I found this live performance and I love it! This is exactly how I remember her in concert. Enjoy the beauty that is the Barefoot Diva...

Wish I was there...

One of my favorites from Isla Mujeres. Sunset and seeing Cancun across the water plus a pelican.

Beach

Music Memories

Its 10:26 pm here. And the rains just started. Pouring, pouring, pouring. Fast, hard rain. I love that. Its rainy season here in Liberia. I've been here since Sunday afternoon and in spite of it being rainy season, this is the first rain that has hit since I've been here. And its Wednesday night.

I did this to myself. I jinxed myself. Because this morning I told a friend that it was not as hot and humid here as it usually is and that it isn't raining. So, what happened next? It got more and more humid all day long - like I remember. And moments ago it started pouring. Ahhh..yes. That is the Liberia I remember! I am superstitious that believe that once you reference something, then it will happen. You have to knock on wood to protect yourself and I forgot to do that this morning when I bragged about it not being so hot and rainy.

I turned the TV on, mainly for background noise. CNN. Covering the war in Libya. Which I just can't focus on right now. I just wanted noise. But now the TV has gone out. So let's turn on the music instead. iTunes DJ mix - Neil Young (From Hank to Hendrix), followed by Tom Waits (Hold On). A little melancholy for a rainy, lonely Wednesday night in my little hotel room in Liberia listening to the rain, but equally beautiful and appropriate I suppose. And hey the power and the internet are still working!

Then Chet Baker - love, love, pure love. Chet Baker is the music I share with my husband. We share a lot of music, but that one is special. Followed by Madonna - Rain - how appropriate.

What did I do when I traveled all of these places far from home before I had my music library on my Macbook Pro? Made mixed tapes and brought a walkman. Are you old enough to remember that? I remember the ecstasy of my first walkman. Then carried CDs and a CD player. And then carried my iPod. Now I don't even need that. You can use your iPhone or just access your music library on your computer. Times change. Fast.

When I listen to my music library now when I travel, most of my music at my fingertips on my computer, my music collection reminds me of times and places. Doesn't that always? An artist, an album takes you right back to where you were, who you were, what you were doing at the time you listened to it. And that process of remembering can be fun, happy, melancholy, sad, intense.

Moments of music memory that instantly come to my mind include when I start to think about it...I remember driving across the Great Rift Valley listening to Jesus Christ Superstar on my walkman back in the 80s. The scenery was so amazing and strange and the music from the soundtrack was so intense. Recollections of swapping mixed tapes with my fellow students at the University of Nairobi in the 80s - Bob Marley, Marvin Gaye, the Isley Brothers, Terence Trent D'Arby. Young, fun, completely carefree times. Never to be that way again. Not to that extent. Finley Quaye reminds me of a very lonely time spent working in Rabat, Morocco. I will forever equate old Justin Timberlake with working out at a hotel gym in New Delhi. For months. I can't listen to ELO without recalling a work trip driving around Zambia with a colleague and friend listening to their greatest hits CD. On and on.

I cherish those life memories and music memories on the Byway. And being on the road again - for work, when I am alone at night in my hotel room - always seems to be the time when all those times and memories come rushing into my mind. I guess when you are home, busy with your life, you don't get those times to reflect.

Its stopped raining now. And Biz Markie - you say he's just a friend - has come on. That would take me back to college. Good, good times. So long ago but still there in my memory like its just yesterday...

Goodnight all...

Happy Birthday MTV

MTV just had its 30th birthday. It was this past Monday, August 1.

I heard about it first seeing a headline on Facebook. These days I get more and more news from FB - the "like" button for PBS, NPR, and many other news sources sending the headlines straight to my FB newsfeed. So, I expected to see tons and tons of FB entries about this pop culture milestone from music loving friends and my "like" sources. But surprisingly I saw very little to nothing. Maybe I was just busy that day and there was a lot on FB and I missed it? Maybe I just missed it because I haven't been watching tv (except for taped episodes of True Blood, Weeds and the Big C) and I don't regularly read the newspaper like I used to. Did you know about this? Did you hear a lot about it? What did you think?

This is the kind of thing that has made me stop and say WOW. And remember. 1981? 30 years old? Really? I was 14 that summer and I can still remember it SO clearly. I remember suddenly discovering it on tv. I remember those first videos. It was amazing. It changed everything. And the rest is history. Those of you younger than me who were not there to witness its very beginning - you. just. will. not. understand. Ever. Don't even try. And it doesn't count if you were 5. I was 14. A teenager. Right there. A teenager in a small town with no access to music other than the lame top 40 local stations and word of mouth. Before excessive cable tv, before the internet. Before college where one's music exposure could really blossom.

And as we all know, you were definitely around to see this, MTV later became CRAP. And it still is crap. It has been for a long time. I haven't dared to watch it in years. But at its start it was such a beautiful, wondrous thing. We would watch it for hours and hours. We would stay up all night at friends' houses watching endless loops of videos. It broadened our musical knowledge and tastes and brought a common musical knowledge and culture to a nation and then went global. It changed everything - some good and some bad - and music and culture would never be the same.

The King...and I

Elvis was my first love. He really was.

When I was a little girl I was very aware and very upset that I had missed my chance - I was too young to ever have a shot at being Elvis' girl. I am pretty sure I also realized that the Elvis I loved, the dashing young man from the silly movies I would eat up, was no longer around, having aged into the real Elvis that was still very much present in the pop culture of my childhood in the 1970s.

Still, I was heartbroken to know that he would never be mine, and heartbroken when he died. And to this day I love his music and I still think he was one of the hottest celebrities ever. The man was just pure handsome and pure sexy. Those of you who are younger than me may not get all of this. He was still a major force when I was young - still performing and very much a super star in spite of his weight and drug and alcohol problems. His movies were on TV all the time.

You have to appreciate his ability to generate global appeal and adoration and that this global appeal and adoration continue to this day - decades (34 years now) after his death. You know you are going to find Elvis songs on karaoke machines around the world - and crowds of people who know the words to the songs. You still see Elvis merchandise everywhere. I bet Graceland still pulls in the crowds (I have never been and it is on my list). Occasionally you can still catch his films (so deliciously bad) on TV and you can probably see them all on Netflix. Finally, you know you will continue to find Elvis impersonators - good and bad - around the world - performing shows and even weddings.

Elvis has always been synonymous with Vegas. He performed there at the Hilton Hotel in the late 1960s and into the 1970s (his last performance there was in 1976; he was scheduled to perform again in 1978, but he died in 1977). To this day you continue to have Elvis impersonator shows in Vegas and you even now have an Elvis-themed Cirque du Soleil show - Viva Elvis.

This past weekend some of my family met in Las Vegas to celebrate my mother's 70th birthday and we stayed at the Hilton. The Hilton is off the main strip and was at one time one of the big places to stay in Vegas. It is a very different experience than staying at one of the themed, newer places on the strip - an older, less crowded, more mellow crowd. We were delighted to discover that the Hilton hosts an Elvis impersonator show. We had to see it.

Trent Carlini - calling himself "The Dream King," has been impersonating Elvis Presley since the real Elvis' death. He was winner of ABC television's "The Next Best Thing." I never saw that show but understand it was about impersonators. He has been performing various Elvis shows in Vegas since the 1990s and now performs "The King" most nights at the Shimmer Cabaret Theater at the Hilton.

It is a small show, in a small, intimate cabaret scene - bar, cocktail service, small stage. It is the kind of show that gets better when you have a really great audience and the performer can feed off of and interact with the people. Unfortunately he did not have a great audience that night - present company excluded. When we walked in I was mortified to see such a small audience on a Saturday night. I felt very uncomfortable for him as a performer. What does it feel like to walk on stage and see hardly anyone in the audience? Deflating and energy sucking I am sure. And those that were there - most of them were pretty old and lacking in energy. Was our night a fluke? Or does this happen often? Perhaps he has been playing there too much and for too long?

I wondered if part of the problem is the time of the shows. The setting seems appropriate, but the shows are too early - one a night around 6:45. That seems too early for this type of cabaret show. Who wants to rush to this kind of show at that time? This show needs to be at 8 or 9 or 10 at night.

In spite of the sadness I felt about his small audience, he was a really great performer. He really looks like Elvis and he has a great singing voice and sounds like Elvis. He has it down. He is a fun performer. If you are an Elvis fan, you will appreciate it. Our small group of six did what we could to liven up the show with lots of clapping and cheering and moving around to the music. We had a great time and I would recommend the show. However, I should add that we had complimentary tickets from the hotel (thanks to my sister). The prices on the website note $37-$70. I would probably pay the lower end to see it, but not $70 because it is a very small show.

Regardless of the disappointing audience, he really looks and sounds like Elvis and is very entertaining. For an hour or so I could lose myself in that music from my childhood and fantasize that I was seeing the real Elvis - my first love.

Cherry Season

It is cherry season.

The cherry is the state fruit of Utah. Many varieties of both sweet and sour cherries are grown here. 2 billion harvested annually. Another reason to like this place.

We moved to Salt Lake City last year into a house that has two cherry trees in our yard (and a small pear tree and two apple trees). Last June/July we were fortunate to have an amazing crop from those two trees. I picked the ones above right around this time last year - a little early as they continued to ripen for another two weeks. But they were still good. Last year for an Independence Day cookout I made cherry crisp with fruit from the trees. It was so good. I plan to make a lot of that this year. I still have frozen cherries in my freezer from last year's crop. Here is an interesting document about cherries, including tips for freezing, canning, drying, etc. them from the Utah State University Extension Program.

The cherries in my yard seem to be ripening a little later this year. They are still turning red. About another 10-14 days is my prediction - perfect because we will be back from our trip. Then I will be drowning myself in cherries.

Cherries are one of my favorite fruits. Where I grew up in Pennsylvania there were many fruit orchards, including cherries. When I was a teenager I picked cherries one summer for a job, briefly, because it was a fun way to hang out with friends and make a little money. It was A LOT of work for very little money. You got something like 10 cents per bucket - I can't remember the exact amount, but trust me, it was pitiful. It was a lot of work to fill a bucket. So, we were doing it more for the fun and the experience than the money. I have memories of being on ladders up in the cherry trees and cherry fights around the orchards. Fond memories.

Morocco Memories

For some reason I thought about Morocco yesterday all day. A big memory from long ago on My Byway. Years ago (1997-1999) I worked with a solar energy company that was started up in Morocco. I was based in Washington, but I spent a lot of time out in the field. Our headquarters was in the capital, Rabat, and we had field offices in Sefrou and Taza areas out near Fez.

Morocco is a very beautiful place, but I never felt a love for it. I liked it, but I felt like I could take it or leave it. I did not feel a passion and connection there like I have felt in other places like Kenya and Sri Lanka. Perhaps if I had just gone for a brief vacation where you see all the highlights and stay in nice hotels I would have felt differently. But my experience came from spending weeks at a time there, several times a year, over several years - always for work and always with work people. It was a very stressful and intense time for me and I learned a lot. I have so many stories from that work experience and time in my life - some weren't very good or nice. Here are just a few memories that came to mind today about my experience. For some reason all of these memories just flooded into my head today. I haven't thought about Morocco or those times and experiences in a very long time.

Unfortunately all my photos are hard copy only and I don't have access to a scanner right now, so the photos to accompany these memories will come later.

When I would go to Morocco, my trips would be for several weeks at a time. I was very lonely during that time. I usually traveled over there alone. The staff were all nice, but would all go home to their families at night and I would be alone in the large house where we had our office. As a young foreign, blonde woman I did not feel comfortable going out and walking around Rabat by myself. I wasn't afraid, it was just that it would have been overwhelming and annoying - the catcalls and staring and harassment were just too much.

My french speaking skills were at their best at that time, but it was really challenging to work and be in that environment. The culture was very different. People would speak French and then blur into Arabic and I don't speak Arabic so it was really frustrating to keep up. And I never could master business writing in French.

I liked Rabat. It was a mellow city on the ocean. I never spent much time in Casablanca. I got to drive around to many cool places in Morocco for brief work trips. I spent my honeymoon there (an earlier marriage). I really loved Marrakech, Fez, Agadir, Meknes, but the small town of Ifran was my favorite. The Atlas mountains are rugged, huge, and amazingly beautiful. I remember the roads and the driving. The driving outside of the cities on the rural roads was particularly crazy. The aggression and the speed and the constant passing of cars and animals and people was insane. Driving there was often like one big game of chicken - you would pass as many cars as you could in the other lane while a car was fast approaching. It was madness. I remember there were dogs everywhere and they would always sleep right on the edges of the roads.

Our office in Rabat was in a large house in a very nice residential neighborhood. We had our office downstairs and we would stay upstairs in one of the bedrooms. The American Embassy was across the street. On the weekends, the loneliest times, I would sometimes catch some sun on that roof because it was private. I would listen to my CDs and stare at the goings on over in the Embassy compound. I bet the security situation changed a lot with that embassy since those days.

I was usually alone in the house when the staff would go home in the evenings and I would cook dinner for myself - usually scrambled eggs and sauteed zucchini and mushrooms, with bread and "la vache qui rit" cheese that I purchased from the one large grocery store in Rabat at that time. I would eat dinner in my room watching the only English language channel available on the television - Turner Classic Movies. I watched a lot of great old films during my work trips to Rabat, including finally seeing Gone with the Wind for the first time.

There was no central heating in the house, just a few space heaters. Even with a space heater in my room, sometimes I would be so cold at night during the winter that I would have to sleep in many clothes, blankets, hats, gloves. The rooms were so big, with high ceilings and stone floors and large uninsulated windows that the space heater did little good. I remember one night jogging around the house up and down the stairs (we had many levels) to get warm. That was not fun. Then I remember feeling the hottest I've ever been in my life one time out in the Taza area visiting some of our customers during the summer months. I remember driving in a truck with the windows down and the hot air blowing on us felt like a giant hot hair dryer. I drank water constantly, but still did not urinate for 24 hours. That is a sign of some serious heat and dehydration.

Once I had to spend the night out in a rural area at a customer's house with our whole team - some Moroccan and some American and all of them guys except for me. Moroccan living rooms typically have a large couch that goes all around the room, enabling many people to sit in the living room, and in this case enabling many of us to all stretch out and sleep on the couches. That was a long and weird night. In a hot room with all of those people, one talking and yelling in their sleep, feeling weird (never unsafe, but just weird) as the only woman there.

Our main driver had been working with the head of the company for many years. This driver lived just down the street from our office. His wife and her sister cleaned the office/guest house and did some cooking - coffee and lunches for staff. She did henna on my hands and feet once. One day there was this huge argument between the head of the company and her and she was fired and kicked out. I learned that he believed she had been putting things into my food. A reference to black magic and spells was tossed around. I was really freaked out. I never got any details. To this day I don't know if what she was accused of was true, and if it was whether her intentions in using magic on me were for good or bad. The driver was always a really nice little old man. I remember learning years later that he had passed away. Its weird when you find out that someone you worked with is no longer alive.

There was a Chinese Restaurant downtown that we would frequent often for lunch and a Belgian chocolate shop that I loved. You could walk to both of them from our neighborhood. I would get chocolates for myself and the office.

I loved the Moroccan mint tea. We would go to visit rural customers and they were always very hospitable, inviting us into their homes for tea or sodas or butter milk (which I do not drink). I loved the Moroccan food (the tagines, the couscous, the bread), but I would grow tired of it during long stays. I got violently ill once (on my honeymoon of course) from eating meat at one of the roadside joints that work friends took us to. I loved to walk in the market in Rabat, but the smell and the sights of the meat section of the market with all the lamb heads and parts and organs, was very hard to stomach.

Once while walking in that market with a really bad, bad American man who used to work with us (those of you reading this who worked with me know of whom I speak), a group of kids came running past us and in the blink of an eye they had stolen this man's passport out of his jacket pocket. I could not believe how fast it happened and how slick they were. I guess what goes around comes around sometimes. He was a mean man.

Thinking about all of these things has created an interest and a desire to return to Morocco to see it again after so many years and changes in my life, and purely as a tourist, not as someone trying to run a business. Also my husband has never been there and I would like to share that place with him. I guess I need to add it to my list of Byway places for future visits. Have you ever been to Morocco? What did you think of it?

Some Recollections of 20+ Years in WDC in 4 Days

Day 1 (Saturday): I fly into National Airport (I never call it Reagan...it is and always will be its original name to me - National). It is the National airport. So it remains. Always the beautiful view flying into that airport, coming across the Washington suburbs and finally the city comes into view with its monuments. It is so green around here. I miss that.

I pick up my rental car in the late afternoon and drive, drive, drive west on Rt 66 out into the deep suburbs of northern Virginia to visit family. It feels beautiful to zip around in my new rental car. It is Spring in Washington. Trees blossoming everywhere - the sweet scents making me sneeze. I have a car. And I know this place. All this familiar territory. I arrive to familiar smiling faces. I miss these faces, this banter. Great food, great company and a lot of laughs. Little ones who will forever be toddlers in my mind are now teenagers, taller than me. My nephew who only a few years ago was half my height and shy and sweet towers over me now. He is so handsome. He looks like his uncle, my ex-husband. He has his first girlfriend. I stare at him in disbelief that he, the little one I held in my arms as a baby at my wedding many years ago is now becoming a man. Time passes even if the cherished images of those we love stay still in our minds.

Day 2 (Sunday): Returning to the city the next day to visit friends in Arlington, VA, I know many routes and can't decide the best one to take. I plug the address into my iPhone GPS and it sends me on a crazy route - Rt 29, Rt 66, the Beltway (495) S, Rt 50, Rt 7, into Fairlington. I don't mind. I want to travel on all of these roads - passing old doctors' offices I frequented, places where friends lived over the years, places where we ate here or shopped there. Every road has its time and its memory.

Later I drive my friend to pick up her car. We cross the Potomac River into NW Washington then I shoot down Massachusetts Ave, into Dupont Circle and over to Logan Circle. Every street, every block I pass - 20+ years of memories. I lived on Corcoran Street. And California Street. And 18th Street in Adams Morgan.

I meet old friends for dinner at a new Spanish restaurant. I think that parking appears to have gotten even worse...or maybe my memory has faded, having been away from this for almost a year now. The weather is getting warmer and it is Sunday, so people are out everywhere...as they do in this city when the warm weather comes.

It is so good to see these old friends. One I've known almost as long as I lived in this city. We worked together a lifetime ago. We remember cheap pitchers of beer at Mr. Eagan's and shopping at the Soviet Safeway when $20 bought you a week worth of groceries. What I miss the most about this city is these friends - all of these people who have been woven in and out of my life fabric for so long. And the familiarity of knowing this place. I live now in a place that I do not know. There is excitement in the opportunity to learn a new place, but there is also the loss of the familiar and the power that comes with knowing. It is a toss up.

After dinner it is dark and I drive again through familiar streets, down 14th Street, past the beautiful Washington Monument to my right, and across the river into Crystal City to my hotel, near the office my organization only moved into a few years ago. I know the news anchors on the nightly local news. I mean I know them in the way one knows them from watching them for years and years. Familiar voices and faces and mannerisms. Comforting background noise.

Day 3 (Monday): In the morning as I get ready to head to the office, I turn on the radio in my room and the sounds of my old NPR morning routine are there. Familiar stories for life in DC. Controversy with the mayor. Suspicious package found downtown. Metro delays due to someone "falling" on the tracks. Weather patterns up and down.

I work a full day - wanting to leave the office at 5 pm, but leaving instead after 6...a familiar pattern from my life here in DC. Back to the hotel, back to the rental car and then drive, drive, drive again, but north this time. Into Maryland. This time I take my old commuting route - from the office to my old home in Takoma Park. I am going to visit another dear friend for dinner. I am excited to see her and her daughter, but also to do this familiar drive, to see my old neighborhood and to drive by the home - my first house - that I sold last May when I left this place. Will it look the same?

Having been gone now almost a year, living in Salt Lake City now, I am shocked by the traffic. I've now been in this area 48 hours and I have felt the energy. My energy has changed to meet and match and survive the energy I feel around me. I am stressed. I feel it. I feel rushed. I feel late. I don't feel those things very much anymore with my new life in SLC. But for 20 years that was my world.

The drive is slow, due to traffic, even at 7 pm. But I don't care. I take the route through Rock Creek Park, winding through the city. This was my daily route to the office and while I did not relish driving 45-60 minutes each way, if you have to do it, this was a beautiful route to drive. I love this park. Its roads and scenery are burned into my brain from years of driving that route twice a day. What I love about living and driving in a place for so long is how you learn the crazy little routes - the twists and turns and short-cuts that you couldn't explain to someone new to the area - you just know them. You figured them out over the years. Now you feel like you could maneuver them in your sleep.

The little downtown Takoma Park looks the same. Some changes, but mostly the same. How I miss the Sunday Farmers Market. I miss it a lot. SLC has a summer market that is mostly crafts and very little food. I miss the farms of Virginia and Maryland and Pennsylvania and West Virginia - all close enough to deliver their fresh produce to this city and its many wonderful farmer markets.

Favorite tree in my old yard

I have dinner with my friend - in familiar surroundings. Lovely. Old memories. I have known her too for a long time. Through a number of changing times in her life and mine. I wish I had more time. With her. With everyone I see here. With the friends I won't be able to see this week because there just is not enough time.

My old house looks very much the same. Wow. Did I really live there for 7 years or more? My first house. Little cottage. My world. So much happened in that house. I hope that the young couple who bought it - their first home - is happy there. I hope they take care of the trees and the flowers I planted. I hope they keep up the little garden I had in the back yard. I miss the trees and the birds and the squirrels from that yard. I miss the jungly green lusciousness that is this area. You know how it is the summer. Jungle. Amazing.

I am now excited to drive yet another old, familiar route - down New Hampshire Ave, past the turn off to North Capitol that would beeline me to Capitol Hill, past the intersection with Georgia Avenue, Sherman Ave to Florida Ave, crossing U Street, south past the "new" Convention Center (no longer really new, but it will always be new as it replaced the "old" one, down 9th Street, and onto 14th Street, and again I am driving down to the Mall and past the Washington Monument and over that river, back to Crystal City, fake city with its underground mall world that always made me think of Planet of the Apes when I was younger, and its defense contractors and now a surprising number of restaurants and places to go out making it no longer such a desolate, lonely place at night.

Roosevelt Island

Day 4 (Tuesday): Another busy day in the office - meetings, meetings, meetings. I am burnt out. Like I used to be. Somehow now that I telecommute, its all different. I work a lot, but it is so much more relaxing when you work from home. And I don't have as many meetings anymore. I am not used to this pace. Not used to the quiet stress in the office and the less quiet stress on the streets. People rushing everywhere, constantly on their Blackberrys and iPhones. Lunch places unbelievably crowded. Business appears to be booming in the Nation's capital. A full day and then I am off to Georgetown to run some errands. I drive past more familiar places. My old route around the neighborhoods. My favorite spa, nail salon, yoga place, etc. Remembering shopping days and times at restaurants and celebrations with friends and hikes along the water.

This time I get to drive across the Key Bridge and back into Rosslyn, the place where I worked for so many years and just further up where I lived also for many years in two different apartments. It seems so long ago. I miss that little area. I miss my gym. I miss being so close to the Iwo Jima monument and the paths along the Potomac River and Roosevelt Island my favorite place in this city. How many times did I walk and run that island? With so many friends and family and lovers. Spring. Summer. Winter. Fall. I hope I can go there for a hike before I leave town. Remembering hikes with groups of friends on the trail that would run along the VA side of the Potomac, crossing the Chain Bridge and then walking on the C&O Canal tow path back to Georgetown. Feeling justified for a huge Sunday meal after that several hour hike.

Me, streets of DC, a year ago, 1 month before I left DC

Now back in the hotel in Crystal City...for a few more nights. Near the National airport where tomorrow I will return my rental car that has allowed me to travel so freely all over VA, DC and MD the past few days. Now I will reacquaint myself again with the DC metro and the taxis to move back and forth across the river, mostly driven by African taxi drivers. I love these taxi drivers. I love to get into a taxi and listen to Ethiopian music or chat with someone about what is happening in their home country. When I first moved to Washington, after spending a year in Kenya, then back in the US and then a summer back in Kenya again where I really still wanted to be, I felt happy and comfortable and familiar to get into a taxi with a driver often from east Africa. That was so, so long ago...but it is all still so fresh in my mind.

Squirrel Week

I miss the Washington Post. Sure I can read it online, but it is not the same as having it delivered to your front door, holding it in your hand, reading it in the morning with coffee before you head out the door.

This Post that I love is running Squirrel Week! Yes, an entire week's worth of columns about squirrels. Starting with "Where did DC's black squirrels come from?" I love squirrels. They have provided me with a lot of entertainment over the years. And I have always loved the black squirrel phenomenon. I used to have a number of black squirrels living in my yard in Takoma Park. I actually already know the history of how the black squirrels came to the DC area because I read about it years ago. It is interesting. If you want to know the history, read it here.

Butterflies in Liberia

Last time my Scenic Byway took me to Liberia, I was fortunate to travel outside of Monrovia to visit Kapatawee Falls. While there I saw beautiful trees and this magical moment captured in a number of photographs I strung together into a little video (my first attempt at using iMovie). I couldn't get closer for fear of scaring them away. I've never seen a group of different variety of butterflies all hanging out together. It was fascinating to watch and the photographs barely do justice to what I saw that day. It really was a magical moment.

A Giant Crumbles

My head is kind of spinning right now. I have so much work to do today (and this weekend) with my projects and a proposal, that I really do not have the time for this, but it is here anyway, keeping me from being able to focus on my work. My head is spinning because I just learned last night and more details coming in this morning that an organization where I worked in the past, and that I loved, loved, loved, is shutting down. Well actually it is being forced to shut down. It is gut wrenching and heart breaking to me.

..."one of the most prominent US international development consultancies announced Thursday (March 3) that it was planning to sell its assets and transfer its programs to other aid organizations."

This organization is AED - The Academy for Educational Development. I worked there from 2000 to 2004. It was my first job in the NGO development sector and working on USAID projects. Before that I had worked for an energy consulting firm and with the private sector. I had never worked for an NGO, a not for profit, type organization and I had never worked on development projects that were funded by the US government. AED was my entry into this world where I have now worked for 10 years. What a fabulous place that was to work! I loved it. In fact I always had in the back of my mind that I might try to return to that organization, either as an employee or consultant.

AED has a great location in Dupont Circle. The offices are huge - two buildings connected by inside bridges. They have a wonderful conference center. Everything is beautifully designed. There is (or at least it was when I was there) real art hanging on the walls. At art collector had donated his collection to the organization. As you walked to your next meeting you were likely to pass a Chagall or a Lichtenstein. I am serious. Jokes about stealing the art, because it was just there in the hallways, were common. My office was on one of the top floors and I had a sweeping view of the city. I spent a lot of time in that office, and it was a wonderful place to work.

I remember feeling so great about working there. I felt proud. I felt a real part of that institution. It felt like a home. I found the organization to be professional and ahead of the game on a lot of things. They cared a lot about training and education and all of its employees benefitted from that. They did a lot of wonderful things for their employees. I recall feeling like I was in a family. I met people there who were true mentors. I bonded with people there. I still consider many of the people I worked with there as close, dear friends who I love. The place was full of talented, sharp, educated, dedicated and professional people. I have been fortunate to work for some very good places, but none of them were like AED. So many others I know feel the same way about their experience with AED.

It was a huge organization when I was there. I don't recall the numbers very well but I believe at that time there were 100s of people working in the Washington office, with thousands more around the world. I am pretty sure it was and remained the largest NGO in the sector. Current information reports that AED has 3000 staff worldwide, $119 M in assets and $440 M in revenues (2009 figures). That is a huge organization, particularly for the development world. And that, was part of its downfall. And now all of that is crumbling. Well, it has been crumbling for awhile, and officially since December.

In December I learned about what had happened to this organization I loved. A press release was circulated that left me stunned for days. The US government suspended the organization from receiving any USG funds pending an investigation into misconduct, mismanagement, lack of controls and concerns over corporate integrity. As far as I know USAID has never taken such a drastic action with an organization like that. The public details are few, but the bottom line is that there was money mismanaged on some projects in Pakistan and Afghanistan. As you might imagine, managing projects, offices, staff and activities in countries like this is challenging. Believe me. It is. What I have heard is that the problems were not from the AED staff at HQ, but from staff in the field, particularly a Chief of Party in one of the countries who was hired to run the work and instead set up a little scheme for himself, and ran off with some money. I don't think it was a lot of money in the grand scheme of things, but it is USG money, which is a big deal. Every penny of that USG money has to be tracked and spent wisely, because that is taxpayer money and the Government watches out for it, as it should.

So heads rolled back at AED HQ. People I have known for ten years - good, hardworking, dedicated people - lost their jobs - sacrificed in an attempt to make amends. I couldn't believe it as I heard about the many, many people who were forced to resign. Some were forced out. Some retired early. In addition to the VP and managers directly involved, the President left, the Vice President left, the CFO left, on and on, until there was a new management team. People who had been there for much of their careers and I am sure expected to retire there, were gone.

Then the layoffs started. Not being able to win any new projects, it had to happen. There was speculation about how long this suspension would last and even when it does end, what are the repercussions of being the organization that this happened to? AED has 100s of projects and I heard that they would be auditing every one of them. It was looking like this suspension could go on for a year or more. From what I know, AED initiated all kinds of new internal systems and checks and balances in an attempt to show the USG that what happened would never happen again. But I guess it was too little, too late.

Now yesterday and today, this message from the Board that AED is for sale. A fire sale. It is seeking acquisition and transfer of its programs and assets. It has commitments for projects that must continue and it has staff implementing this work that must get paid. So I guess this is all they can do now. AED will dissolve. It will either no longer exist or it will become a small shadow of itself.

I can't explain to you how sad this is to me. As I said earlier - heart breaking and gut wrenching. I guess it is as I noted above - my experience with and my memories of this place and its people is SO GOOD. So this just does not fit. It feels unreal. Impossible. All organizations have their great things and their flaws, but this was the best place I ever worked. Best people I ever worked with. The majority of that organization and its people are good and did good work. So it is just devastating to see this entire operation and its reputation - 50 years of work!!! - crumble. I realize that this downfall is the result of more than the one ass who stole money from a project out in Pakistan or Afghanistan. What people say is that the appropriate oversight and management systems weren't in place for an organization of the size and reach. I don't know - I left there many years ago. While I have some understanding of the roots of how this could have happened, I don't have enough information to offer insight or opinions into the details. All I have is my shock and sadness over this turn of events, and my beautiful memories of my time there. My heart goes out to all of my friends and former colleagues who have suffered from what has happened. I wish them strength as they deal with these events.

Spring

Is Spring on its way? It sure feels like it here in Salt Lake City. The past few days the temperature has been in the 50s, maybe even the 60s. The air just has that feeling. You know what I mean? I swear it changes my state of being. I feel happier, more energy. I want to be outside. I know you know what I mean. Spring makes us feel alive.

And outside my window (where I have been slaving away at my desk this week - man there is a lot of work right now!) I see buds starting to form on the trees and the bird activity has increased. I see and hear a lot of birds. Today it is grey and rainy, but the kind of grey and rainy you get in the Spring. 

The groundhog did predict an early Spring, but I just do not know what to expect here in SLC as this is my first Spring here. Maybe it will be like this and then we will get more snow? I believe it typically snows here until April easily, and having a little snow in May is not unheard of. 

I never went skiing or snow shoeing and I am in Utah in the heart of ski country with like 7 ski places in like a 30 minute drive!!! Aaaaahhh!! I feel like a loser. Where the heck did the time go? How can it already be March?? The past three winter months have flown by. Where did they go??? One of the things I hate about getting older is how fast time flies. Do you notice this? I really do feel like it gets faster and faster each year. Why does that happen? I also think it is tied into the pace of our world these days. Isn't it weird how our sense of time works? The week before I went on vacation, I was so furiously busy with work that the week flew by at a crazy fast speed. I was kind of shocked. I was just a working machine and the week just disappeared in a flash. But last week while we were on vacation, that week seemed like two weeks. We did so much in that week - traveling to three different areas, visiting so many friends, seeing sites, etc. - and it just lasted a long time. Which is a beautiful thing to have for a vacation. So, why is that? Why does that happen? Why do we feel that way?

Anyway, back to the sad realization that I never took advantage of my first Utah winter, I guess I could still go skiing. There is certainly snow still up in the mountains, but this weather has my body and mind shifted to Spring now and I don't know if I can make that mental adjustment back to winter. Once you get that first taste of Spring, its all over. Its Spring Fever. Cold weather or snow are just temporary setbacks because you see and smell Spring just around the corner. 

I've been watching the weather in Washington, DC (my old home) and have been jealous of the warm weather they have had. Spring in Washington, DC is, as many of you know, one of the best times to be there (Fall is the other). I loved, loved, loved the feeling of Spring there. The weather is mild and perfect. Everything turns green. The city is full of trees that bloom in pinks and whites - cherry trees and others. People plant flowers everywhere - the city maintains endless beds of daffodils and then tulips all along the Potomac River and in spots downtown. Wow it is a site to see. I can see it all in my head and I can feel it too, from memory. When it warms up the outdoor seating opens up at bars and restaurants and people flock to these places. I remember how it is that first warm Friday night in the Spring - people go crazy - everyone out and about in places like Dupont Circle, U Street, Logan Circle, and Adams Morgan. The whole city just wakes up and changes. The outdoor seating areas are packed. The parks fill up with crazy people, hanging out people, dog people. Clothing changes. Traffic increases. Everyone wants to be out and living life. See, Spring Fever. It takes hold. I recall always feeling better and happier - more alive - in the Spring.

I think I will have a work trip to DC soon and I look forward to drinking in some of that Spring time feeling.

Beach BBQ - Liberia Style - VDay 2009

Tomorrow is Valentines Day...so I was remembering Valentines Days in the past. Here I am, two years ago on Valentine's Day...in sunny Liberia. Not exactly a romantic day that year. But it was fun.

Me in a traditional boat. Such a dumb pose. But I wish my arms were still looking like that...the result of many push ups in the crazy, but fantastic crossfit training I was doing at the time...sigh...I want those arms back! And those stomach muscles.

I was there in Liberia to collect information to write a proposal for a new energy project that was coming...which I am pleased and proud to say that now two years later we finally won and are implementing. In the midst of the work, it was a Sunday and the people I knew were doing what they often do on Sundays - heading to the beach for a cookout. So I joined them for what was probably my only day off on that trip. There isn't a whole lot to do in Liberia for a social life. So we drove about an hour or more south down the coast to some stretch of beach known to some of my friends. There was nothing out there, but a shack where someone stays and watches over the deserted beach front property. The water is way too rough for swimming, but we splashed around in the surf. We drank beer and had a BBQ. I remember the company being fun and the food being good, but I also remember not too long after eating having sudden, massive digestive problems - oh the joys of careless eating in a place like Liberia. Other than that, it was a fun day and it is a good memory from the Byway.

Beach BBQ - Liberia Style

Seagulls

Warm, sunny, vacation beach memories for a cold, winter work day...

Travel: Memories of Maps, Globes, National Geographic, Big Blue Marble, and Exchange Programs

Check out the new world map I've posted on the bottom of my blog. It shows the countries I've traveled to in my life. I look at that map and I think two things. First I think - wow, how fortunate and lucky am I to have spent time in all of these beautiful places. Next I look at the map again and I think - wow, there is so much of the world I have not seen! My list of travels is impressive, but look at all those unvisited places. It is a sobering reminder of how big our world really is. I realize it feels quite small these days in many ways due to all the crazy and rapid changes in communication and travel I've witnessed in my life, but it is still a BIG world.

Looking at that map got me remembering...I have always loved looking at maps and globes, and I still do. I remember when I was a little girl and would spend hours playing in the home office at our neighbor's house. They had a giant atlas and a beautiful globe. I would pour through the maps in the atlas and spin the globe and stop it with my finger to see which magic place I could think about next. The colors and shapes and the names on the maps and the globe fascinated me. Did you do that when you were a child? I still do it, but I don't have a globe or a giant atlas in my house, although I do have an awesome giant old school map of Africa, the kind that has raised topography so you can feel the mountains on it. (Note to self - you need to find a fantastic globe). 

These neighbors also subscribed to National Geographic and saved all of the issues, so they had a bookshelf lined with them. That bookshelf seemed so huge to me at that age and its contents were amazing. I would pour through those magazines, at that age mostly looking at the photographs, not really reading anything. I haven't thought of that memory in years and years and I never really thought until just this moment that this experience probably contributed greatly to my interest that grew over the years in geography and history and travel (Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Mellott!).

Now that I am thinking about it, I believe that obsessively watching Big Blue Marble also contributed to me becoming a traveler. Do you remember that show from the 70s? I loooved it! I remember watching it really early on either Saturday or Sunday mornings on PBS. I can still hear the theme song in my head after all of these years. The lyrics:

"The earth’s a Big Blue Marble when you see it from out there.
The sun and moon declare our beauty’s very rare.

Folks are folks and kids are kids we share a common name.
We speak a different way but work and play the same.

We sing pretty much alike, enjoy Spring pretty much alike;
Peace and love we all understand and laughter, we use the very same brand.

Our differences, our problems from out there there’s not much trace
Our friendships they can place while looking at the face of the Big Blue Marble in space."

I found the song on the internet - click on the link to hear it: Big Blue Marble - Original Theme Song. Pretty groovy huh? It was a beautiful show that exposed kids to other kids and their cultures around the world. I think that show had a profound effect on me.

Flash forward to age 16 and the next big thing that shaped the traveler I would become - the AFS Intercultural Program. I became an AFS exchange student in Kenya. When you are 16 and you go and spend a summer living with a family in Mombasa, it will rock your world and change who you are forever. (Thanks Mom!). 

I can't speak highly enough about the AFS program and my experience there. Because of my experience I am a huge supporter of international exchange programs - any kind as long as it is a legitimate organization and program. I think it should be a requirement for all children to leave the US and their family and be put into another culture for a period of time. Not just the US - this should be a global requirement. I firmly believe that exchange programs could keep us all from destroying each other. It is far easier to misunderstand, hate and hurt what and who you do not know, and far more challenging to misunderstand, hate and hurt the personal and familiar.

There have been many other things that happened in my life, and opportunities that presented themselves, that would continue to turn me into a world traveler, but those were the building blocks that I think turned me into the girl who wanted to, and did, travel to all those places on that map. And who wants to travel to many more places before she leaves this big blue marble. 

The Big Blue Marble - Credit to NASA and R. Stockli, A. Nelson, F. Hasler