Monday, October 17, 2011

Pet Hell

I have had a rough morning. Specifically I have had a rough PET morning. Those of you who are pet owners know what I am talking about. It has been a glorious Monday morning of pet diarrhea, pet urine and pet vomit. That began last night with even more pet diarrhea and drama. And I am not amused.

I've been trying to do my work in between incidents as it is Monday morning and I follow an east coast schedule which means I start working at 7 am, which is exactly about 15 minutes before I was awakened by the smell of feces in my bedroom.

Perhaps I am being punished by my pets for being away for the weekend? But we go away for two weeks at a time, and this doesn't happen when we return. Perhaps I am being punished for laughing hysterically at my friend's recent blog post where she was awakened around 4 am by one of her dogs having explosive diarrhea all over her bathroom? But she wrote it to make us laugh.

Please allow me to vent and share, to help me deal with this with a sense of humor...

Yesterday afternoon we arrive home from a trip to the desert over the weekend. The pets seem good. We have the best house sitter in the world who takes great care of the cats and has been for more than a year now. We unpack, do some things around the house, have dinner, catch up on some tv programs we taped from last week. I go to feed the cats around 7:30 pm and I can't find my little one, Monkey. As she usually comes flying when she hears the food, I am concerned. I go back into our bedroom and we discover she has been locked in our closet, most likely for a few hours since we've been home. We didn't know she was in there - she usually doesn't go in there - and we shut the doors. Big mistake. Suddenly the smell hits us. I start frantically searching through shoes and clothes on the floor of the closet. I finally find it - massive diarrhea, unfortunately on Paul's side of the closet (Monkey you really aren't helping me convince him how wonderful it is to have pets), but fortunately wrapped up in some t-shirts that Paul doesn't care about, not one of our favorite shoes or items of clothing. Its not just feces, its diarrhea. Really runny, smelly, difficult to clean diarrhea. Good times.

So I set about cleaning. Finally I get downstairs in our finished basement to feed them. And I realize there is more crap in about 5 places on the carpet. This is not the easy pick up kind of feces. This is again, runny, smelly, difficult to clean diarrhea. More good times.

We are renting this house and the basement carpet is essentially ruined. We know we will have to replace this when we leave. It was an old crappy carpet to start when we moved in, but now it literally is an old crappy carpet. Things were all good for more than a year here, then suddenly the other old cat, Mr. Kitty, started randomly peeing on the carpet down there, feet away from his choice of three clean litter boxes. Its only happened twice, but you cannot clean cat pee from a carpet. It is a myth that you can. We just cut out the pieces of carpet and threw them away. Now the carpet has more problems with this recent bout of diarrhea all over the basement.

The urine in the basement we blame on Mr. Kitty being old and senile. He is old and he is sickly from the diabetes, so sometimes he does weird things. Monkey does not typically mess anywhere in the house. And I know she only did what she did in our closet because she was locked in and obviously was having some gastrointestinal issues. I can be frustrated and mad about what happened, but I can't be mad at her. It was an unfortunate accident. And I am concerned that she is having all of this diarrhea. If it keeps up I will need to take her to the vet.

Moving on...

After this drama, we went to bed. I wake up at 6:45, a few minutes before my alarm, because I smell something. Something unpleasant. I can't quite figure it out because it is faint. I walk out of the bedroom into the living room and down into the basement. There is, of course, more diarrhea. But thankfully it is in the litter box this time. I clean it up and put it outside. But why am I still smelling something? I walk back into the bedroom and discover Monkey has had more diarrhea on my antique, expensive rug from India - of course. And even better, I had stepped in it with my sandals (thankfully I was not barefoot!!!) and tracked it around the house. It had sucked before. Now it REALLY sucks.

So, I go about trying to clean my beautiful antique rug, and my shoes and try to find where I might have tracked it. I do the best I can and realize I am just going to have to make time later today to clean all the floors in the house. Again, good times.

So I sit at my computer and start working. Mr. Kitty comes in because I do need to feed them. Its around that time. I need a few more minutes to finish my work. Suddenly I see and hear the cat in the corner of my office - peeing. On the hardwood floors. Right there. Staring at me. I leap up, yell at him, grab him, take him downstairs to the litter box, immediately come back to save the floors and keep the urine from touching anything. That SOB. I cannot believe he did that. Thankfully because I cleaned it up so fast, no smell and hopefully no damage to the floor.

I am tearing my hair out now. I cannot believe this morning. I go back to work. I won't feed them now because I don't want that cat to think he will get rewarded with food if he just pees on the floor anywhere he wants. I know he is old and he has diabetes, but this was just some crazy bad behavior. This was not medical or situational. This was just evil.

I finally feed them. Moments later, of course, Monkey is throwing it all up. And when I go to find it and clean it, I step in it.

So, I am now back at work and nervously pacing around the house every so often to look for more incidents. I am not looking forward to having to clean all the floors later today, along with all the real work I have on my plate today. Pet hell. Not amusing. Happy Monday. Not.

By the way, if you ever have issues with cat urine, I recommend using Nature's Miracle Advanced Just for Cats Stain & Odor Remover. Its the best thing I've found.

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